That is not true. Mommy did not call you an asshole.
Mommy does not use that kind of language. Not with her little girl, who Mommy loves with all of her heart.
All right, Mommy might have, in the very distant past, felt so overwhelmed that she called you a shithead. She didn’t mean for you to hear that of course. She was speaking to herself, which Mommies are allowed to do when their little girls look them right in the eye and say the kitty ate Mommy’s chocolate. Did you honestly think Mommy would believe we have a kitty?
I know this is hard for you to understand, but Mommy has a Masters Degree. She wrote her thesis on String Theory and made a groundbreaking case that particles of light change in direct proportion to the mass of the waterline at the edge of a pond. Now Mommy can’t tell you where she just put her glasses. Do you see? This is what this life is doing to me. There is simply not enough of Mommy to go around sometimes. She’s like particles of light reflecting off the water. She hasn’t the height, weight, or mass you are perceiving. She appears to be whole but she isn’t. She feels like the world is the mass of the waterline, and Mommy is coming apart at warp speed before her very eyes.
That is why sometimes Mommy has to go into the bathroom and say her name aloud twenty-five times just to be certain she actually exists.
Now, Mommy is going to take a deep breath. See? Would you like to take a deep breath as well? That’s it, honey. But deeper. Should we try it again? Don’t be frightened. Mommy did not call you an asshole when you ignored what she told you to do.
That would be a sign Mommy’s coming apart. Which she’s not. Which she’s totally not. She would if she could, but she can’t. And you know why? Do you want to know why, honey? Because Mommy is your rock.